ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
