even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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