i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
