Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Randomize
