My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
