you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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