I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
