I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
