i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
