So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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