You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
only you would photoshop your dick
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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