Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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