We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have feelings that need drinking.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
