Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
