Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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