What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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