take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
