one two three fourrrrnication!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
