Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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