so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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