You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
