I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
