guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
