I skipped work to stalk him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
