Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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