He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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