I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
