everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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