new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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