we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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