I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
