Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My vagina is very pro this idea
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
