You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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