Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
