Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
