i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
