she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
