Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize