The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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