Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
