Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
