using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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