Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
