how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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