i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
