next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
