WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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