I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
