the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize