that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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