So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
