Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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