There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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