First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
