i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
