Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
