College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
