i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
