I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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