But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
